Today's date with roszana was cancelled due to her having some family problems.
But it is okay as i had to teach tuition to 2 wonder kids (pathetically speaking), Fahmi and Danish. Fahmi is practically so irritating that i just feel like strangling him. He is a pure nuisance and i just felt like slapping him. Seriously, studies is like a joke for him. I am so very stressed out at home with a grandmother whom i cannot even communicate to and addition to that, i have joker whom likes fool around. But after receiving so much scoldings from me, then he managed to settle down and study properly. From 5.50 pm to 7pm and continue from 8pm to 915pm. Pressurizing to teach Fahmi as compared to Danish. Even though Danish is way younger than Fahmi, he has the wants and interests to learn. At 6 years of age, he is already learning advanced primary one mathematics and may advance to primary two mathematics soon.
My grandmother, who is my dad's father has been here for 6 days, up to date. I can barely even communicate with her and i can count the number of times i actually talked to her. Okay, i admit i am being the worst granddaughter now. I actually complained to my mum's mother. When she kept on asking so many things, i was dumbstrucked but eventually her questions were climbing up my nerves. Its just that practically and theoretically speaking, its just that my siblings and her are not close. Even Abah and Mama knows about this, but they are oblivious to this fact and just told us to respect her.
Talking about Abah and Mama, yes, i miss them terribly. The last message from them was dated on 4th of Dec when they landed at Jeddah at 3.30 pm. Abah especially, promised to email all of us, but until now, not even a call, a msg or even an email. Sometimes when i am in their room, i can imagine my parents there, talking and laughing along with me. Tears flow down so freely at the very thoughts of them. Even right now, whilst blogging, i am accompanied by tears. I miss their naggings and shoutings at me. I miss every tiny detail about them. When they left for Hajj, i did not expect that the responsibilities that they have left me were too heavy. Yes, i am very stressed out with the current situation that i am facing. As the eldest, i have to be strong to face any circumstances but deep down, i am scared of losing them. I am not strong to face so many things. The memories of them leaving for Hajj still plays in my mind. How i cried in my parents' arms. How they kept assuring us that they would come back and that they would contact us. Sometimes i do wonder, did they purposely not contact us so as to make us to be independent in leading our lives? Abah said, if they are in Madinah, it would be more easier to contact us. I have tried calling and messaging them but to no avail.
Abah and Mama, all of your kids misses you so much. Just don't forget your children that is missing you, Mama and Abah.
Buat ibu tersayang, Haslinah bte Mohd Ali.
Selamat Hari Jadi yang ke44 mama,
Semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki, berbahagia selalu dan sentiasa diberkatiNya.
Mama, enjoy your day today, especially since you are in Mecca, it is a one in a lifetime opportunity.
We love you.
-lost a part of me
12/20/2008 12:02:00 am
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