Tuning into sleep late, sleeping in with a fever everyday makes me realize how valuable my health is. Yes i do admit that my body's immune system is very weak and i tend to fall sick easily. Within minutes i can get a cough, flu or even a fever. I know that i do not really like to eat medication as i am so sick and tired of looking at the medication day in and day out. Sometimes, when i take medication, it tends to worsens the conditions or contraindicate my condition. So by not harming myself more, i prefer to let it go on its own. I know it is weakening the immune system, but let it be. For once, let my health deteoriate and let me just rot away slowly, leaving just my memories behind without giving me a chance to look back.
I have been stuck in the rain for the past few days and i have been having fever in and out. I have been sleeping late and instead of my usual 2 am routine, now it changes to 6 -8am routine and waking up at 3 or 4 pm. But today, my fever conquered my body and i woke up at 7.30pm. I guess its worthwhile to see how the body actually suffers along with the tension headache that i have been having for the past few days. With the pressure of the problems that has been arising everyday, i think its time to let the body and mind suffer together. I know its stupid, but let it be. For the first time, i just feel like i just want to get warded in the hospital. I want to get so sick until i have no more energy nor strength to actually get on with life.
I want to be locked away in someplace where i would not be bothered anymore by anything or anyone.
-lost a part of me
12/26/2008 07:42:00 pm
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